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講故仔: "唱歌仔"

TG loved to sing, and she was very talented. she could make even the most kiddish songs sound absolutely enjoyable. i remember she used to sing a song all the time. the song went: "我的家庭真可愛, 健康快樂照常在...", and every time i would argue with her saying it's supposed to be "笑常在" instead. i loved it when she sang it. since Lok Lok and Lily joined us, she added another line to the song: "我個肥仔滑捋捋, 仲有Lily真可愛..."
and then there was another song that talked about watermelon. it went like ".... 個個都啱食, .... 頭頂長滿花~"
i loved it.
sometimes, she'd even dance while she sang. i loved watching her signature silly moves. i know she'd never perform on stage, but she's a true star in my eyes.
how i miss her performance.

講故仔: "Tin Guy"

She was a strange kid. when she was a kid she used to think of herself as a frog, "tin guy" as she called it. i guess i'm weird, too coz i love it so much that ever since she told me about it i started calling her "tin guy", or simply "gwa". tg is her initial from then on.
tg was a real frog. she was always energetic and if u look closely, u can see that her eyes were always watery. i remember the tears rushing out of her eyes when we didn't get to the animal centre early enough to pick up the gray kitten. i also remember the joy and excitement from her eyes the next day when we picked up Lok Lok, and the sparkle when i decided to pick up one more kitten in Lily. The kittens were godsends. they brought such joy and peace in tg's heart.

well another three months on and the pain is still here. it is still here. it still haunts me from time to time.

it's a complicated feeling. it's not constant. it deeply affects my emotion. it occupies my mind most of the time. it gets worse especially when ppl tell me to let go. no i can't. not by choice anyway. when i hear ppl telling me to let go that just makes me feel more lonely coz, no, no one understands how i feel. they only rush to tell u "hey i've been through this. it's easy to deal with. it's your fault that u're unhappy at this moment."

really? u've been through this? and what does that have to do with me?

i know i shouldn't talk too much about it but sometimes, and i mean most of the times, i'm weak and i want someone to talk to. i wanna let it out. i need a listener. i know this is a tough job to be my listener, for this particular topic. sometimes i do wanna talk about it. but ppl's responses can be such let down, while honestly, all i want is a faithful listener. all i want is support, or maybe, just maybe if i'm not asking too much, comfort? maybe? but no i ain't getting that. instead i received all these tvb signature scripts.

speaking of which, the court response is finally here. it's in front of me. now all that's left to do is to turn in one last paper with our signatures on it. then it's a done deal. i wanna do it, and i don't wanna do it. no i don't wanna do it. but it's something has to be done. gotta do what ya gotta do, u know. yes sir i know that. but no i don't wanna do it.

so i'll take half day off and turn it in in person. just to make sure nothing goes wrong. yes gotta do what ya gotta do. mind wins over heart. heart isn't here anymore anyway. heart is gone. it's buried in memories. such good memories. the wife, the cats, our children. they are just like angels. our family. little room, messy, small. but so warm that i rush back to everyday after class. and she's still in bed, hopefully having a sweet dream. i know it's sweet coz whenever the cats were with her, she looked like smiling in her dreams. it's cold outside, -20C cold. but it's all about inside this messy little flat, where all was good. and all is gone.

three months on and here u have my new post. the most significant thing that had happened in the last 3 months is undoubtedly my divorce. yup. i got divorced. can u believe it? no? i can't neither. but this is what happened.
the most difficult time has passed. thou i can't say for 100% sure that i'm fully prepared to move on ,but at least the pain has mostly gone. i miss her. i still unintentionally call out for her name from time to time. i still remember the good times we shared with each other. those were wonderful times, and i will surely keep those memories in my heart forever. it's a shame it didn't work out but like the song that goes: "逝去的感情如何留得住~?", so i have no choice but to "就讓一 切隨風~"
係咪好"娘"呢? 老餅係咁架喇.

after reading through my own blog i realize this is how it goes: every once in a while i'd put up a new postd saying how long i've been away from this blog and this is the first post in a long while. so this is a sort of a tradition of my blog and i dare not to interrupt it..
so here u go: hey this is the first post since many months! hooray! u happy now? no? oh well.

recently a thought came up to my mind and never goes away. i realize the reason why i'm not making tons of money is becoz i'm not having fun. i become a dull boy, and in case u wonder, i become even duller than b4! whoa that's some achievement in its own right.

so in order to make tons of money, first i gotta find something fun to do. hm... so u figured this one out since forever? yea?

now it's keywords time to hopefully lure in some innocent souls. keywords like... hm... what would that be? oh well whatever..

"boring boring boring!" the line sums it all up. "coz u're not trying" kinda true. maybe life is just plain boring.
"boring boring boring!" i can't say it enough.
*********
bought a dslr for almost 2 years but satisfactory results are rare. maybe i'm not an artist after all, thou all i want is to take cats' photos.
skill is one thing but i think the real important thing is what's inside a photo. no one knows my photos better than i do coz, hey, they're my cats!
i miss my cats..

shot from the lower deck of star ferry, this' supposed to be one of most spectacular scenes in the world, according to the text anyway.

yawn.

on Christmas night all Christians sing...
we intended to but the rooms were fully booked. so instead we went on a ferry ride. shooting from the upper bridge when boarding, u have to wonder what there ppl're looking at. some columns to be exact.
but then what is really there to be seen out at the victoria harbour these days that haven't been seen enough already? it's just a boat trip that's getting shorter, and when the gov't decide to move the TST pier to somewhere that's irrelevant just to make way for some cheesy tourist attractions, one has to wonder what's the point of all these non-senses.
at least the fare is still cheap, so i can't complain.

find the cat in this picture. and there's no prize doing so.
this picture was taken in Guangzhou en route to fix my spine. 80 bucks and my spine was new again, thou the process was a bit too painful for my taste. some ppl love it thou as if it's a kind of manhood stuff. "i'm a man i got beaten up and i didn't make a sound... i'm a real man!" make sense? no? no.
next time i'm gonna try their firepot thing. put some dark marks on my back which they refer as toxicity in my body. scary stuff.

today i'll pick up the ebay stuff again after slacking off for... the holiday. i know it's no good excuse hey but it's Christmas!
so, anyway i'll do this thing today. i promise u, hoyan.

a picture taken in gz.
i really like the color tone of this lens.
maybe it's just the white balance setting. i guess i'll leave this to the pro.
so let's go back to the picture.. ok so there aren't much to talk about in this picture. you see what you see. that's it. bye bye

another snake soup. they make it a set meal with all these presented in the pic. all for $35 hkd. good stuff. will go again soon.
susie if u're reading: i'll bring u there. brace yourself.

i had a guangzhou trip last week and it was ok. gz is a better place during winter when it's not as hot and humid. the cooler temperature make our beloved 同胞 more tolerable.
this trip confirmed what i've suspected: gz food sucks. at least they have mcdonald's but even that tastes a little weird in gz. the fries just isn't right.
speaking of fries, recently i got this craving of those super fatty fries that's made of real potato. i tried those somewhere in the US with deep fried garlic on top. another topping of choice would be that Hispanic kinda thing with lots of cheese and ground beef. served with chopped fresh tomato, it's one of the dishes u should try b4 u die. hohoho.
maybe i should open a little restaurant just to sell those. that way i will die at a very young age.

another boring day..
so today i went to sham shui po.. again. i was looking for components for my beloved but very much dated g4 cube without much success.
first, the only wireless option i have is the airport card that provides a mere 801.11b connection. this is pretty weak given the physical setup at my place. and the card doesn't come cheaply, even for a used one. the usb receiver route won't work neither becoz the cube has only usb 1.1...
second, i'd like to upgrade the video card to a more respectable GF6200. the stock one is a rage 16mb.. or is it 8mb? it simply doesn't cut it anymore with all the latest features and eye candy. a GF6200'd bring the cube up to speed for the time being. this will most probably be the last upgrade one could perform to a 7-year-old machine coz anything newer would be out of reach.

at least i'm not trying to upgrade a IIe. hah!

today is a good becoz:

1. the weather is nice;
2. it's not too hot;
3. it's proven that my father doesn't have cancer.

hohohoh. tmr i'll go to sham shui po and have snake soup again. yum yum.

got a new lens. Canon 50mm f1.8 for $580 in MK.
what a bargain. it takes light in, it focuses, it shoots... just like any other lens...
oh well. u can google its reviews and samples. it's sharp enough and the bokeh is pretty enough for an average joe like me. and it's pretty fast, too.
considering the price, hey it's a steal!

tonight i went to yoshinoya after my accounting class. as usual i ordered the chicken bowl. the only difference is that i ordered iced tea instead of coke.
the yoshinoya iced tea tastes very funny: it tastes just like ricola. it's like drinking a candy.. hm.. yuck!
the accounting class is practical in a way that the teacher actually shows the students how to do everything. it's a hands-on class. nothing about the theory, just pure operational stuffs, and it shows. there is this funny atmosphere within the class. from the jokes and reactions one can clearly sense that these are working class ppl. it's firmly in their mindsets: i'm not a boss. boss is bad. boss is dumb but somehow they make money all becoz i'm good.
i think it goes round and round and in the end, they will always be working class. it starts from their own mindsets.

bak bak in her hideout. when u look into her hideout, she’d greet u with a soft meow. if u put ur hand in, she’d give u a slight touch with her little palm.

too bad the picture wasn’t very clear. maybe it’s time to get a faster lens..

the 坤記芝麻糕 of sham shui po is really good.
the younger sister working in there has a short temper thou. so i guess not even good dessert can capture a girl's heart no more.
i guess in hk, a good hint on the stock market works way better than a dish of fine dessert. i think that's kinda sad.

after all these year, i finally realize i prefer hand writing more than typing. it's just easier to let my mind flows. but then again, my hand writing is among the worst in the world. sometimes even i have a hard time reading my own hand writing...
it's that bad.